


Space-Cadet

by witchquisitor



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Angst and Porn, Drunk Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty), Eventual Smut, F/M, Hate to Love, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, strangers to enemies to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:20:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21618235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchquisitor/pseuds/witchquisitor
Summary: Your name is Piper Matsson. You've been careening through space for almost a decade, a ship captain for hire. You're a one woman show, you don't need a crew. Hope, the AI you created, is your one and only friend. People call you an antisocial freak, but they still hire you, so who cares.You like reading novels and living vicariously through them. Fictional people are so much more agreeable.Your recent trip was run of the mill bring Object A to Point B, get more jobs at Point B, return to Point A for cash- OH WHAT THE FUCK. WHO THE FUCK JUST CRASHED INTO YOU? WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?You were about to get more than you bargained for.
Relationships: Rick Sanchez x reader - Relationship, Rick Sanchez/OC, Rick Sanchez/Original Female Character(s), Rick Sanchez/Reader
Comments: 13
Kudos: 65





	1. Witness

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Space-Cadet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606989) by [witchquisitor (orphan_account)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/witchquisitor). 



> I previously wrote this fanfic when I was like, a senior in high school. (If you look up Space-Cadet you can still find the original)  
> I've gotten older, and I wanted to rework it, so. Here you go. Main character is HEAVILY inspired by my player character in Outer Worlds.

My eyes scanned the passing scenery as the ship cruised through the cosmos. The seat accomodated the pressure put on it by my reclining form. The leather was particularly worn under my butt, where the black peeled away to reveal the yellowed padding. I felt grateful during long trips like this that the previous captain had broken his seat in so well. Real shame, what happened to him. Still felt bad about the whole ordeal, truly, but I had other, bigger things to worry about now. I could bury him later if I still felt so inclined. Surely, I remembered where I’d left the splattered mess of organs that once resembled a man. The blurring lights of distant stars whizzing past was starting to make my head hurt. Or maybe it was all the caffeine I’d consumed in the last 18 hours. The lack of sleep? The sound of my own inner voice grating away at the last bastion of my sanity? I didn’t know the exact reason, and didn’t want to dwell on the thought for too long either. I rapped my knuckles on the closed container just beneath the ship’s computer, prompting its lid to drop open like an anchor. 

‘ _ I’ll fix that later… Probably. _ ’ I rummaged inside for longer than I thought I would have to. Seriously, this should’ve been cleaned out months ago. I had the time to do it right now, but… No, I’d do it when we landed, surely. Finally, I procured a book from the trash heap, and smacked the container lid back into place. Ah, I’d been meaning to finish reading this one for some time now. According to the bookmark, I’d only been 121 pages away from finishing it. At least a 30 minute read, then. It’d been a harrowing romance adventure novel, chronicling the life of one Captain Nikola, and his lovely first mate, Katja. They endured hardships, and other fantastical excitement the likes of which I could not find in any of my own misadventures through space. Depressing, really, but at least I could live vicariously through the characters. That should suffice. Right? I shifted in my seat, bringing my knees to my chest, and getting extra comfy. I flipped open the hardcover, gently spreading it to the page I was on, and-

A loud bang echoed through the hull. My ship rocked from side to side, still propelling itself forward though much slower now, and slightly off course. The container lid flew open again, spewing receipts, and candy wrappers into the cabin. I gripped the chair for dear life, and was still almost thrown off it. I imagined this was what a rodeo was like. I watched as my book, and the bookmark were slammed carelessly into the wall, crumpling into a heap on the floor. I yelped, and immediately felt concerned for the pages. I began to worry if they’d been torn or wrinkled. Adrenaline pumping through my veins, I leaped from my chair, and pounced onto the terminal.

“HOPE, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?” The AI blinked out of autopilot upon hearing its name. I wasn’t a genius by any means, the AI that controlled my ship’s drive was purely elementary, and mostly required manually inputted commands. Y’know, to reduce the risk of it gaining sentience, and running off into the galaxy without me.

“How can I assist you, Captain Piper?” 

“Hope, get me eyes on the…” I considered for a moment where I’d felt the impact come from. Considering where my book was now lying on the floor, my best guess was… “Right side of the hull.”

“Right away, Captain.” I could hear my lungs wheezing out shaky breaths as the ship crawled to a stop along with my adrenal glands. My forehead, and hands grew cold from the sheen of sweat that accumulated on them in the short amount of time. I looked to the book still spread open on the floor, and sighed. I knew very well that at the very least when I picked it up, a page would be wrinkled. And that was the best case scenario. The terminal blinked as the camera feed from the right side of my ship was pulled up. Immediately, I could see what hit us. It was a smaller ship, not by much, but it seemed like I definitely had more space to move around in my cabin. It seemed rather jury-rigged, like it was made as an afternoon art project, and I wasn’t quite sure how it survived the impact with my ship. To be fair to whoever made it though, not everyone can be as fortunate as I was in stealing spacecraft. I could just barely make out the shape of a person behind the wheel.

“Hope?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Would it be possible to open communication with the ship that hit us?”

“Right away, Captain.” Now that was the kind of answer I liked to hear. Don’t bother answering my question, just do it. That’s why Hope was my best friend. As the terminal rang, I stepped away, and finally went to inspect the collateral damage. I could repair my ship just fine, I was more concerned with being able to find another copy of this book. The trip back to that side of the galaxy would be at least several hours. It was in the total opposite direction of where I was heading. I picked it up, and closed my eyes, afraid for what I would see when I turned it over in my hands. I peeked slightly, and could feel tears instantly pricking the corners of my eyes.

‘ _ GODDAMMIT! _ ’ Not only was the page that I had been on slightly torn, but so were several others. I could easily just tape them back together, but it was so damn hard to see the thing I’d taken such good care of in such a state of neglect. And by “taken such good care of” I mostly meant leaving it the fuck alone, and tucked neatly into a safe space. The call connected, and I could hear the groaning of the other captain.

“Hello. This is Captain Piper speaking. Are you injured?” I settled back in my seat, positively seething, almost crying, but wanting to make sure they were actually going to survive long enough for me to tear them a new one.

“Eugghh, w-where the fuck did you come from?” The person on the other side sounded like an older dude. His voice was gravelly, and his tone was a mix of disorientation, and aggravation. But he didn’t answer my question.

“ _ I said _ , are you okay?”

“No! No, I’m not fuck, fucking-” His speech was slurred, and the sentence was interrupted by a loud burp. I was suddenly remembering why I didn’t interact with most people. This asshole was clearly flying his stupid, rinky-dinky spaceship while drunk. “I’m not okay! Y-You hit me with your fucking ship!”

The vein near my temple pulsated.

“Hit you?! HIT YOU?! Are you fucking kidding me? You’re sitting here flying around fucking space with a probable BAC of .40, and you’re gonna tell ME that  _ I  _ crashed into you?! If I fucking crashed into you, we wouldn’t be having this goddamned conversation right now because my ship would’ve DECIMATED YOU. You’re a fucking lunatic, and you’re lucky I don’t kick your piece of shit ass all the way to Aphus to buy me a new fucking book! I WAS 121 PAGES AWAY. 121 PAGES UNTIL I FINISHED THIS BOOK. AND YOU FUCKING RUINED IT.” My breathing was extremely ragged, and I was now standing hunched over the terminal in a blind rage. Tears were streaming down my face, and I cupped my hand over my mouth, and nose so he couldn’t hear me sniffle. He sat there in stunned silence, I assumed, still probably disoriented, and needing medical attention. I took a deep breath. 

“Now. You’re gonna answer my fucking question, because if I have to ask it again, I will fucking come out there in my goddamn suit, and kill you. I  _ HATE _ repeating myself. Are. You. Okay?” I could hear some shifting, and what sounded like a key turning in the ignition. His engine sputtered, but ultimately gave up. He was silent for a few more moments.

“I uh… I might, might be stuck.” Another belch. Fucking wonderful.

“Fucking wonderful. So here’s what’s going to happen. I only have another hour in my trip left. You’re sitting up right, and apparently coherent enough to think of just flying away from this situation. Hope is going to hook you up to my ship, and you’re coming with me.”

“Right away-” I didn’t bother letting Hope finish.

“You’ll reimburse me for the book you destroyed, I’ll check you out-” He cut me off, laughing dryly.

“Whoa, now lady, you, you haven’t even bought me a-a drink yet.”

“I’LL CHECK YOU OUT, BECAUSE LUCKY FOR YOU I’M MEDICALLY FUCKING TRAINED. And then you can fix your piece of shit, sorry excuse for a goddamn ship, and we’ll never have to see each other again. Understood?”

“Listen, I don’t know w-what the fuck you think- what you think you’re gonna get as r-reimbursement, but-”

“OH MY GOD, ARE WE FUCKING UNDERSTOOD? JUST SAY YES.” I was going to shoot this man. I knew it. I would kill this guy, and I would not feel bad. I wouldn’t even think about burying him weeks later.

“Yes.”

“Excellent.” I exhaled deeply, thrusting my ass back into my seat, and getting comfortable. I couldn’t believe that I’d managed to get into this mess in the actual last hour of a ten hour trip. I’d flown so far, and gone through so much without a hitch. And now, here I was, an hour from the finish line, dealing with this mess. 

“Hope. Set course for Terra.”

“Right away, Captain. Would you like me to terminate the existing connection?”

“No, that would probably be inconvenient. Engage autopilot.”

“Right away, Captain.” I swiped the tears from my eyes, rummaged in the still open container for a tissue, and blew away the sniffles before depositing the tissue back in the same spot, and closing it. I tried to center myself in the few moments before Hope started the engine.

“Well, now that we’re on our way, my name is Captain Piper. You are?” I prayed he wouldn’t make me repeat myself, and lose my newly reestablished cool. ‘ _ This is the reason you don’t have a crew, Piper. _ ’ I reminded myself. ‘ _ This is why Hope is all you’ll ever need. You made her perfect. _ ’

“I’m Rick.”


	2. I'm Alone

When I landed on Terra, I was confronted by two facts. No, scratch that. Three facts. The first one being that it was  _ nothing _ like what the man who’d given me the job in the first place described it as. Whereas I was told that Terra was inhabited by a primitive primate species with few, small settlements scattered across the planet, I soon discovered that the opposite was true. And also that this “primitive primate species” was just people. Like me. So that guy was also a dick. The second fact being that only absolute dumbasses who hadn’t been near this solar system in 3,000 years still called it Terra. The people that lived here called it Earth, and Terra was just a “bullshit science fiction name” offered up by “people who didn’t know what they were talking about” all according to Rick. Oh yeah, and the third fact being that this was actually where he lived. I’d dragged him back an hour through space, just to bring him back to the home that he’d been flying drunkenly away from in the first place. About twenty minutes before we landed in what was going to be a heavily populated area, resulting in at least five casualties, and a warrant for my arrest, Rick redirected me to his own garage. This seemed more convenient anyways. I could land with zero casualties, and no interaction with federal law enforcement. Rick could take care of his own ship, and himself, and I could be on my way.

His garage was more like a personal workspace with gadgets, various hidden buttons, and keypads strewn throughout. It didn’t take me very long to spot most of them. There were shelves with boxes just full of random inventions that he would occasionally go over to, and dig around in. I didn’t understand how someone who was seemingly so smart was still manually piloting their ship,  _ while drunk _ at that. I did have to admit, though the old man was an alcoholic with chronic grouch syndrome, he had grown on me in the hour we’d known each other. To admit even more, my opinion of him had changed fairly quickly once I opened my mouth. But that might’ve just been my loneliness talking, since he was the first person I’d had any form of conversation with in… Actually, it wasn’t important. He let out a loud, rippling belch from his place in front of the ship. Nope, I could now confirm it was  _ definitely _ the loneliness talking. This guy sucked. For the most part, that hour was spent rambling to him about absolutely nothing and everything, and occasionally being met with an “uh-huh” or a “hmm”. Now that I was thinking about it, I didn’t even know why I was still sitting there. Well, if I was being honest with myself, I definitely did know why I was still sitting there, but that was not the point.

“Hey, c-could you make yourself useful, and grab that blowtorch? The one right next to you.” His snarky tone made me want to throw the blowtorch at his head. I resisted the impulse, and instead handed it over.

“Listen,  _ Rick _ , I’ve been absolutely charmed by this encounter,” I was a great liar. “But I really oughta be getting back to my job. So if you could just give me directions, I’ll gladly be on my way, and out of your hair.” Or lack thereof. He didn’t even bother looking back at me.

“Y-Yeah, no can do. I don’t know you, and, and I sure as hell don’t trust you.”

“What?” Rick dropped what he was working on, and turned to face me. His arms were crossed, and his gaze was stern.

“I’m not about to let you loose, and, and potentially fuck up my planet. I would have to be a moron to let some stranger who didn’t even know where she was going in the first place out into the wild to do god knows what.” I rolled my eyes. What was he trying to do? Become my babysitter? I bet I was older than this crusty ass, alcoholic, piece of-

“ _ Deep breaths, Piper. Deep breaths. _ ” I took a deep breath. And smiled. I was  _ agreeable _ .

“I understand your concerns, but I really just wanna get out of your hair and-” He cut me off. Something that seemed to happen way too often for my liking. I reminded myself:  _ I am agreeable _ .

“You think I’m gonna trust someone who didn’t even know what the planet was called? No fucking chance. You bring me with you, or,” He pulled out something shaped like a gun, and aimed it behind my head. I dropped to the floor as he fired. Instead of the usual sound of a bullet flying past, and bursting into the wall behind me, I was confused. I turned my head, and was greeted by a swirling, mesmerizing pool of… Green? “I shove you, without your ship, through that portal, and you wind up on the opposite side of the universe who knows where with absolutely nothing.” Goddamn,  _ fuck _ this guy!

“Are you kidding me?” I straightened back up, and stalked over to him. I quickly struck his wrist, and snatched the gun… portal… thing right out of his hands. He quickly grabbed the wrist I was holding it in. This was a stand-off. I stared at Rick, fire burning in my eyes, and chest. His stare felt cold, like it was cutting right through me, but I wasn’t about to back down.

“Give me the gun.”

“You think I’m about to hand you back a weapon that you  _ literally  _ just threatened me with? I knew you were a fucking lunatic, I didn’t know you were also an idiot. Just let me do my job, you stupid asshole.” His face twitched, and his grip tightened. 

“Oh no, did I strike a nerve?” Before I even had the chance to laugh, he’d jerked my hand carrying the portal gun quickly behind me, bending my arm into an extremely uncomfortable position.  _ Fuck that hurt _ . If he thought he was actually about to strongarm me into agreeing with him- if he thought that I wasn’t about to kick his ass harder than anything, he was wrong. I relished the opportunity to finally give this jerk what he obviously deserved. I tossed the portal gun hard, twisting into Rick so that my back was now facing him. I dropped quickly, and rammed into him backwards, right into his center of gravity. He grunted from the force, and dropped my arm before falling onto me. It wasn’t exactly the ideal position I wanted him to be in, but it would work. I brought my right arm up, and quickly turned on him, wrestling him to the floor, and pinning him down. Unfortunately, I did not take much time to consider the height advantage Rick had on me, nor did I consider that this dinosaur of a man might actually be in good shape. He made quick use of his legs that I stupidly didn’t even bother trying to secure to the ground, and flipped me head first onto the floor over him. My skull hit the cement of the garage with a loud crack. A searing light flooded my vision. I struggled to get up, slightly disoriented from the head trauma, but Rick was already on his feet.

“W-Where the fuck did you throw my portal gun?” I started scanning the floor while Rick frantically swiveled his head around. I remembered tossing it, obviously, but I threw it so hard I didn’t remember where I’d thrown it. I stood up fully, and threw a kick to his knee. It gave out, but he was somehow still standing. I used the full force, and weight of my body to force him to the floor again, this time making sure to pin his legs. I swung for his temple, but didn’t connect with exactly as much force or precision as I was hoping for. I mean, I guess I couldn’t expect to knock him out on the first try. Hell, I didn’t even actually expect to get this far. If I was being honest with myself, again, I sucked really hard at hand to hand. Put a gun in my hand, and I’ll shoot someone’s eye out with the precision of a laser. I was totally out of my element. He threw a punch right back at me, landing square on my eye. I lost vision for a moment, but held steady, and threw another punch right into his mouth. He shouted at me, calling me a dumb bitch before punching me again. It landed right on my cheekbone, and rocked me off of him. We both laid for a moment on the floor, groaning and touching our quickly bruising faces gingerly. For some reason, I didn’t feel as angry anymore. I’d given Rick the thrashing I’d been wanting to give since I met him. Who knew punching the shit out of someone could be so cathartic? Well, I did, but this felt different.

We laid next to each other in silence, breathing haggardly and wincing from the stinging on both of our faces every so often. I’d gotten what I wanted, honestly. If he still wanted to throw me out into the blackness of space with nothing, I was okay with that. Instead, he surprised me.

“Truce?” I was so taken off guard by the word, that I couldn’t help but start laughing. He joined me. 

“Yeah, yeah, truce.” Rick sat up, grunting the whole way. I guess battering his old man torso wasn’t beneficial for his health. He chuckled, and spit blood onto the floor.

“You throw, you throw shit punches.” I rolled onto my stomach, to push myself up. The majority of that squabble I’d suffered from some pretty rough head stuff, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I wound up with a concussion.

“Hey, I try my best, okay?” I offered my hand to him. He accepted without hesitation. I couldn’t believe I was so lonely that this was the standard of companionship I’d stoop to. He started making his way to my ship, still parked outside the front of his house.

“So, Piper, w-where are we off to?”


	3. Choke

“Y’know it’s like,  _ really _ inefficient to only have one seat in here. Like, even if you don’t have anybody else coming with you, it’s still better than just throwing all of your shit on the floor, jeez.” Rick sat with his legs stretched out on the floor beside my captain’s chair, clearly displeased with the current arrangement. We’d only been in the air for roughly seven minutes, with another 12 minutes left in the ride at least. This was the third time he’d mentioned the seat. I wasn’t about to repeat myself, and so, for the second time, I only offered a nod and a “hmm”. That seemed to appease him as he didn’t push the issue, and took another sip out of his flask. It wasn’t inefficient to have one seat when I was the only one in my ship. Well, usually the only one in my ship. The only other person that’d stepped foot in there in the last few months was the last captain. And obviously, he too preferred to ride solo or else there would’ve been another seat. I liked having the extra space anyways. More space to do stuff. Stretch my legs. Do some running in place to stay active. Maybe yoga. Gotta stay limber for activities like… beating up grandpas, for example.

I side-eyed Rick. I didn’t want to look at him directly and risk starting another conversation. I enjoyed riding in silence, or at least as close as I could get to it. This made his inclination to making the same complaints 10 different times even more frustrating. The left side of his head was now sporting a lump from my knuckles that was starting to bruise rather quickly. I know he deserved it, but I guess my brain was starting to pump some cortisol into my body, because I almost started to feel guilty for beating him up in the first place. I didn’t even land that good of a punch on him. And I was confused by this dynamic of absolutely not being able to stand each other but for some reason still choosing to be around one another. I understood I was probably lonely, but I didn’t think it was that bad. This felt wrong. I felt wrong. I started to look around the ship for something to distract myself from ever apologizing to someone I knew for a fact wasn’t worthy of such a thing when I remembered my book. I then remembered the current state of said book. All traces of guilt evaporated from my body. I let my hand fall to my jacket pocket, and patted the portal gun I’d slipped into my pocket before leaving. If he refused to compensate me for the book, and for just dealing with his attitude in general, I figured this would suit me just fine. I would probably figure out how to use it eventually. 

“Captain Piper, I am beginning descent as we are nine minutes from the destination. Please confirm.” I looked out the window briefly to ensure we weren’t approaching any cities with rather tall skylines.

“Approved. Thank you, Hope.”

“So, what, you sit here 24/7 with just a computer to talk to? Doesn’t that read as kind of sad to you? Y’know, no friends, not even someone to come anywhere with you, just you, your chair, and a computer.” I shot icy daggers his way, but he wasn’t even looking at me. 

“I don’t talk to _ it _ ,  _ it’s a computer _ .” I rolled my eyes, and scoffed, to really sell the bold faced lie that I was telling him.

“So you sit here in silence all the time? All by yourself? Yeah, that comes off as way less sad, Piper.” Rick’s head lolled in such a way that he was now making direct eye contact with me. The way my name sounded coming from his mouth combined with the glazed-over stare he was now giving me made my skin crawl. I felt frozen in my seat, unable to compute, stuck in buffering. I simultaneously wanted to launch myself through my windshield. A totally normal, and natural reaction to hearing one’s own name, surely. I felt like I was torturing myself by being around another person for any longer than five minutes. Why was I like this? I chalked it up to severe sleep deprivation preventing me from keeping my emotions in check, and causing my brain to malfunction. Rick kept staring. He was staring so hard now, he could probably see my brain melting like ice cream behind my eyes. 

“How, how old are you, anyways, Piper?” He said my name again. I don’t think I liked it, but having an actual tangible question to follow and respond to helped snap me from the stupor. I started doing the math. 

“Huh, I think I’m… 96? Well, technically speaking anyways. I guess the  _ real  _ answer is 26, but that sounds so much less intriguing y’know?”

“Wait, wait, wait, what the fuck? How the fuck? How are you older than me?” I looked him up and down. I didn’t really peg him for being younger than that, but whatever.

“It’s a long story. It’s kind of a cliché, really. Woken up from cryosleep, thrown into the world 50 years too late. I dunno, it’s boring.” Rick let out a wicked belch. I was actually almost impressed by that one.

“Yeah, yeah. Sounds like it.” He was quiet for a moment, considering whatever he was gonna say next. “So, how’d they do it? I can’t imagine coming out of that after 70 years would be a particularly pleasant experience.” I looked outside, at the ground quickly approaching the ship. It wasn’t getting unfrozen that was the bad part. That was easy. I thought about Dr. Alton. I thought about all the friends, and family that I’d just barely missed while asleep. I thought about all the friends that I didn’t miss, and how I now had to watch them elderly and frail, just waiting for death.

“It wasn’t great. I wouldn’t recommend it.” I followed it off with a laugh, or at least a weak version of one. I wanted him to shut up. I wanted him to stop talking. Why did people always have to bring it up? I didn’t understand. I didn’t want him to see me cry, and I didn’t want to start crying so I just kept looking out the window. Dissociating. Rick pretty much satisfied himself for the remainder of the ride with the sound of his own voice. I didn’t hear a thing he said. I was especially grateful when Hope managed to land the ship without a hitch, the sound of her soft robotic voice pulling me back to Earth, and away from home.

“Captain Piper, we’ve landed. Opening doors, now.”

“Thank you, Hope.” I cut the engine, and swiveled my chair towards where Rick was still seated on the floor. I raised my eyebrows, and made an exasperated sweeping movement with my hands, motioning him towards the door.

“What? You want me euuurrpp to come out there with you? What the fuck do I look like, your goddamn babysitter, Piper?” Oh, he knew how to get under my skin so well.

“What the fuck do you mean?!  _ You’re _ the one who fought SO DAMN HARD for me to take you in the first place! My life would be so much better if you never stepped foot in my goddamn ship, yet here you fucking are. If you think I’m leaving you alone with my ship, you are actually clinically insane.  _ I  _ barely wanna be left alone with you,  _ let alone my ship _ .” I stood, towering over Rick, and fully ready to kick his ass again. I wasn’t about to leave him alone with my baby. I wasn’t about to leave this dumbass alone, period. I noticed a strange look in his eyes.

“I uh, yeah. Yeah, whatever just quit your bitching, I’m getting up okay. God, you have got to have the worst attitude out of anyone in this dimension.” He managed to hoist himself up, and turned towards the door. “And that’s coming from someone who has literally almost been murdered several dozen times. You’re worse than people who have tried to kill me, Piper.” As I walked out the door behind him, I held my hands up to the back of his neck and mock-choked him. If only he knew how close I was to actually trying to kill him. I felt like I should’ve thrown a few more punches last time. My head was starting to ache again, and I still couldn’t tell if it was from the massive amounts of caffeine flushing out of my system, the sleep deprivation, or this new thorn in my ass. 

As soon as we stepped outside, we realized that we were both horrifically underdressed for the weather. Not only was it positively freezing, we were also now standing in what seemed to be two feet of snow. I tried to pull my jacket closed even tighter than it already was. I knew that this was pointless, and that my jacket stood no chance against this kind of climate, but it also wasn’t like it was doing me any harm to try. In the distance, I saw a small cluster of what looked like little shacks. I could only assume that was where I was supposed to be. Rick was cursing under his breath, muttering like an absolute madman.

“Where, where the fuck are we, Piper? Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing us right into the middle of the fucking arctic? We, we could fucking freeze to death right now, Piper. Why couldn’t your ship have taken us closer to where we were actually supposed to fucking eeeuuuugghhh be?!” 

“This is your fucking planet! How the fuck am I supposed to know where I am, and how the fuck am I supposed to predict where coordinates on a planet I’ve never fucking been to are gonna land?!” We’d started trudging through the snow. I thought maybe the more mad I got, the more it would heat me up physically, but it really didn’t. Instead, Rick pulled me into his body. He held his lab coat around my shoulder, and forced my other arm around him, still under the coat. “It’s for survival,” he said. “We need the extra warmth.” These assurances didn’t stop me from having an internal meltdown again. Being touched did not feel right. Being held felt wrong. It was harder to walk like this, my legs much shorter than his. As I’d assessed earlier, despite Rick’s age, he was in quite good shape. Definitely not muscular by any means. Very lean. It was funny how scrawny he looked despite this. No matter how terrible this felt for me, and how out of character it felt to be body to body with someone I’d wanted to kill a minute prior, I had to admit he was right. I was now definitely warm. Warmer, rather. Or, I remember being warmer in that moment. I still felt like I wasn’t actually in my body. I remember his face fixated straight ahead the whole time, not bothering to look at me even once. Not even a side glance. My eyes were fixated on the ground most of the time. I didn’t even flinch when the snowflakes bounced off my eyelashes.

We were approaching the buildings now, and the storm that had started briefly after we began our walk was picking up in intensity. Rick’s coat was now covered in a thick blanket of snow, causing us both to shiver. 

“HELLO? IS THERE ANYBODY HERE?” It seemed like a ghost town, or more accurately, three abandoned cabins in the middle of fucking nowhere. I didn’t think it would hurt to call out, even if it seemed like nobody had stepped foot near this place in many, many, many years. All of the windows were frosted over, making it impossible for me to even see if anybody was inside. I dropped my arm from Rick’s waist, and shimmied away from his hand clasped tightly on my shoulder. His hand reached after me, but I pretended not to notice, and continued to the only cabin with a porch. I took a single step to the front door, and it flew open. Before I could even register what was going on, I was dragged inside the cabin, and the door slammed shut behind me. I blinked a few times after the door closed to ensure that my eyes were, in fact, open, and that I was just standing in an exceptionally dark room. A few moments later, I heard Rick pounding on the other side and screaming my name. I turned to answer, but was cut off by a disembodied voice from within the room. 

“Don’t bother, he won’t be able to hear you.” Their voice was smooth, modulated. It only disarmed me for a millisecond, because, y’know, I was in a pitch black room that was also presumably soundproof and that’s not exactly a situation to lull your victim in. In an effort to get my bearings, I took a deep breath and held my arms out. They didn’t hit anything, but I felt like I was in a much more readied stance and at least wouldn’t get my ass totally beat like this. The voice chuckled at my efforts. Something hit the toe of my boot, launching me into the air with a yelp.

“Relax. That is the parcel you’ll need to bring back to Ghazan. It contains extremely sensitive data on it, so I’m sure you’ll understand when I tell you that that parcel will self-destruct in…” A lengthy pause. “Approximately 30 minutes after you leave the building.” Their last words hung in the air for a moment, dripping with honey. My brain was still melting away the last touches of ice.

“Did you just say self-destruct?” They guffawed, like they were incredulous towards my delayed audio processing despite making me trudge myself through below freezing temperatures. I suddenly remembered Rick was still out there. Fuck, I hoped he was holding up okay out there. Rationally, the porch would at least provide him with a little shelter from the storm. The amount of time he could survive in that weather increased drastically when I factored that in. 

“Yes. Self-destruct. It is incredibly important that this is destroyed after it is read. I’m sure you can manage?” The voice started sounding closer, like they were stepping towards me. I braced myself instinctually.

“You’re sure I can manage? Are you fucking stupid? It was a 10 hour flight alone! Not to mention all the extra bullshit on this fucking planet that you probably haven’t even stepped foot on in nearly 3,000 GODDAMNED years! And now you want me to, what? Just fucking snap my fucking fingers and teleport back to Ghazan to deliver this package? For a couple hundred measly federal credits?! You’re out of your FUCKING MIND.” I picked up the package at my feet, and threw it towards where I thought the voice was coming from. Hearing what sounded like the other person in the room struggling to prevent it from falling to the floor proved I was nearly dead on in my aim.

“Listen! If, if it’s more money you want then fine! I’ll give you half of what Gort is going to pay you! It’s imperative that this leave right this instant.” The voice started to sound nervous.

“Oh? Why? Because you don’t want to fucking explode?! Fine, give me the goddamn money and I’ll figure it out but I’m telling you right fucking now, I’m not dying for this. I’ll throw this out my goddamn window in the middle of nowhere before I let it blow me the fuck up with it. Fuck you and your stupid theatrics this has to be the stupidest goddamn thing ever.” I held my hand out expectantly, waiting for not only the package, but the credits as well. Something wet wrapped around my wrist, depositing the items into my hand as it continued coiling around my arm. I was screaming internally, but I’d been around space enough times to know that it would be incredibly disrespectful, and probably ruin the payout I’d just received if I were to react with anything but indifference. In time, the wet appendage slipped off, and the voice began receding back into the darkness.

“You only have 25 minutes now.” More internal screaming. I made my way to where I remembered the door being, blindly grabbing for a handle or literally anything in the dark. At this point, I had simply tried to be as detached from the situation as possible to keep myself from having a meltdown. I didn’t even consider  _ why  _ the room was pitch black. That was a weird thing to be, right? Why were they being so overly dramatic about this whole ordeal? When I finally found the door handle, and managed to thrust the door open, the first thing I noticed was Rick, halfway back across the field and almost to my ship. “ _ That asshole was gonna ditch me! _ ” Given that I was completely warmed up by this point, whereas Rick was still solid like a frozen TV dinner, I estimated that I could catch up to him fairly quickly. I started jogging towards him, placing my boots down in the tracks that were already present in the snow from our earlier trek. The shock of the bitterly cold air quickly shook some common sense into me, and I realized that obviously Rick wasn’t trying to leave without me. He was trying not to die of hypothermia. Or at least I hoped that was the case. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Before I reached Rick, I quickly tried to map out all the different possible ways that I could at least leave Earth effective immediately and launch this exploding parcel into space. I already knew I would never make it through a 10 hour trip with this thing- oh wait. I dug my hand into my pocket and felt the now familiar texture of the portal gun I still had there. I could just get Rick to portal us away. Duh. Now caught up to him, I slowed myself just enough to not bodyslam him, and potentially crack his frail, frozen body into a million different pieces, but still ended up pressed flat against his back as I wasn’t paying attention enough to completely stop myself. My face felt like it was on fire. Why was I so fucking adverse to human contact? I wish I could keep blaming it on the sleep deprivation.

Obviously, presented with the current situation, I did what anyone would do, and pushed him forward, away from me. Rick was very clearly seconds from hypothermia fully setting in. And my dumb ass pushed him, causing him to flail and stumble, almost falling face first into the snow. What. The fuck. Was wrong with me?

“W-What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I quickly tried to correct my mistake, and grabbed him by the arm to stabilize him. He took it a step further and pulled me in closer to him, putting his hands under my jacket and firmly gripping my waist. He was shivering, and even without making direct skin contact, his hands were ice cold. I weighed my options: Letting him touch me, and letting him get frostbite. I pulled him even closer, and reached up. Rick had quite a few inches on me so I knew this would be an uncomfortable position for him, but freezing was worse. I grabbed the back of his head, pushing his face into my neck. I wasn’t as warm as I could’ve been anymore, but I also wasn’t on the verge of hypothermia and so this was the best I could do for him. I slowly started shuffling towards the ship with him still hunched over and tucked into me. At this pace, we’d be there in about another minute or two. His breath on my neck was dizzying. I couldn’t focus, and had to honestly fight my brain to not melt and kill me right there. I didn’t like the feelings that being this close to him gave me. I did not like Rick. I did not want to like Rick touching me or being close to me. Yet, here I was. Confused, and dragging his haggard, freezing body through this arctic wasteland.

As soon as we were inside the ship, and before I could even shut the door, I ordered Hope to blast every heater there was. I guided Rick to my seat, gingerly placing him on the now warm leather. I didn’t mind standing for the time being, I just needed him to warm up faster. I began to pace, his eyes carefully following me around the ship. I didn’t know how to use the gun to get where I needed, but he definitely did. I just saved his life, so obviously he had to help me. That was what they always did in the books, repaid life debts. I reached into my pocket for the portal gun, and was utterly shocked to find it gone. I looked all around me, then started scanning outside from the window, terrified that I might have dropped it in the snow. I was running out of time. 

“Looking for, for, for something?” His teeth were still chattering, and it sounded like every word was a struggle to get out. So why was he talking? I turned to face Rick, and noticed what he had in his hand. This little whore. He held the portal gun up, trying so very hard to appear smug with his purple blue lips, and shivering form. He must have pickpocketed me when I was trying to help him. I was so stupid for getting caught up in something as trivial as him fucking touching me, when I should’ve been more concerned about my job. He would’ve made it to my ship just fine all by his little rat self. I didn’t need to fucking help him, and I shouldn’t have. 

“Rick. I need you to use that gun, and send me to Ghazan, right now.” I spoke surprisingly calmly, and held the package up in my hand. “This thing is gonna fucking blow up, in like 17 minutes, and I don’t really wanna be around when that happens. I want my goddamn money. Do you understand?” He rolled his eyes at me, tucking the portal gun away.

“Fuck no. Let the package blow up, Piper, I’m not, not gonna fucking help, help you when you stole my, my goddamn shit, Piper.” I threw myself at him, and grabbed the hand holding the gun as hard as I could. This was getting ridiculous. My brain was getting whiplash trying to decide if I liked Rick or if I wanted him to fuck off into the ether. As I sunk my claws into his wrist, his eyes flashed with fear, anger, and something else entirely that I couldn’t quite place. I didn’t pride myself in overpowering a very weak old man, but I knew that given the chance Rick would absolutely kick my ass right back. Yet, after struggling back and forth with his hand for several moments, he seemingly had a change of heart. He kept doing that. I didn’t like it. 

“Fine! Jeez, you’re so fucking, so fucking annoying, you know that, Piper? You’re goddamn, insufferable.” I released his hand, and after a spin of the dial, he aimed it at the floor and pulled the trigger. A green, gelatinous portal spread on the floor of my ship. He made a grand sweeping motion with his hand, gesturing me to enter first. I knew better than to fall for that, and so I grabbed his hand again and pulled him in with me. He groaned, and rolled his eyes, as if  _ I _ was the one who was being ridiculous. I just didn’t want him to leave me stranded, alone, and without my ship. I didn’t know how he did it, but when we exited the portal I realized we were inside Gort’s home, literally right in front of him. I was bewildered at how he knew exactly where I needed to be, but didn’t really want to know. I took the parcel and tossed it onto the table in front of us. The scaled alien quickly scooped it up, and hurried off, making weird ass noises the whole time. I still had no clue how he literally did anything considering he had no discernible eyes, ears, or even mouth that I could see. Wait a second, did he pay me? I don’t think he paid me. I wasn’t keen on waiting for that parcel to explode either, I really just wanted to get back to work. 

“HEY WAIT. Where’s my credits?!” Gort made some weird ass noises that sounded like muffled sniffing, and quickly ran back to the room, throwing my money onto the table before disappearing yet again. So professional. I scooped it up, and counted it out, making extra sure that all 600 credits were present, and accounted for. I looked back to Rick when I was done. His face seemed distressed, but also bored. I wasn’t sure how that combination was possible.

“What? So that’s it? You just, just give him the thing and leave? You’re so boring, Piper. I was expecting some more theatrics. You’ve been so dramatic all damn day, Piper, and now you’re holding out?” He could never just say something nice. Thankfully, I was done with him.

“Yeah, whatever. Can we just head back so I never have to deal with your shit again and we can get this over with?” That seemed to hurt his feelings a little, but he complied and opened the portal back. I was so grateful to just be done with this whole ordeal. The homestretch, baby. I was anxious to get back to my ship, get back into space, and preferably never even think about Earth again. As soon as we’d stepped through, I threw the credits into my container and started the engine back up. I couldn’t wait to drop Rick off, and just pretend this never happened. I couldn’t stress enough how much I did not want to ever even hear his name again. But… something was bothering me. I hesitated to take off. I wanted him to bitch at me some more. Say anything before we left. Instead he just looked distracted, and distant. What the fuck was I thinking? Why did I want him to be more of a pain in my ass than he already had been? Why was I so desperate for human interaction that this was what I was willing to settle with? Why was I still thinking about his hands on my waist?

“Are we leaving or what, Piper? I can get myself back home just fine-”

“Wait.” I paused. I wasn’t sure why I cut him off, or what I was gonna say to him. 

“Wait?” The silence felt tense. Was it getting too hot in here? It felt too hot in here.

“Rick, what if uh, what if. Are there any places around here where I could take some jobs? Y’know I just uh, I don’t wanna uh…” I didn’t know what the fuck I was saying anymore. Why was I suddenly so soft? I looked over at Rick, and his dejected demeanor had taken a 180. He was now looking at me, smirking. I hated him. I changed my mind. No I didn’t. Yes I-

“Let’s just head back to my place, I’ll show you where to go, Piper.” I tried to steel myself by looking directly at my terminal, and not anywhere else, and definitely not at his smug ass, stupid, handsome mug. 

“Thanks, Rick.” I had no idea the chaos I just allowed into my life, and I had no way to prepare.


	4. Turn the Lights Off

Today was the day. I never thought I would see it a million years, but it was certainly time to get it over with. I was going to clean out the ship. I’d parked outside Rick Sanchez’s garage earlier, having just run a quick errand for him. I had to steer clear of his kid’s car- what was her name? Beth? Eh, did it really even matter? I was more aggravated that the parking spot I’d been used to was no longer available. Parking down the street was so inconvenient. Rick wasn’t even awake, so I just left the package on the counter next to all the other miscellaneous shit he always had out. I was now face to face with my greatest adversary: the open container of garbage that I’d been amassing for the last year or so. If this was how messy I got this place in a year, I wondered how messy my last one was before it got destroyed. Maybe somewhere out there, there were still food receipts and candy wrappers just floating through the endless expanse of space. This was going to suck, and honestly I couldn’t believe I’d put it off for so long. I started digging, separating the real trash with the sentimental garbage that I loved to keep. Receipts from good dinners. Movie tickets. Bookmarks that I stole every time I visited a new book shop, even though I most definitely was not going to use most of them. Pretty much anything that gave me that sweet, sweet dopamine hit when I looked at it. By the time I was almost done sorting, the sentimental garbage pile was at least two times larger than the actual garbage pile. I was starting to think I might have a problem. Eh, I could find a nice shoebox laying around his garage to keep the sentimental garbage together, and tidy. I didn’t have to throw away anything I didn’t want to. My garbage pile sparked joy.

After sweeping the remaining trash into the bin outside, I started my search for a box. Something to keep all the stupid shit away from my important shit, like, y’know, my thrilling space pirate romance novels. And maybe my gun. But definitely more importantly, the novels. I sat for a moment in quiet introspection. Was I a space pirate? I didn’t have a crew like Captain Nikola, but I did call myself Captain Piper. I did engage in less than legal space travels, and I definitely took up less than legal, and often dangerous jobs. I was definitely a thief, definitely murdered a few people, definitely a smuggler… Yeah, I guess I was a pirate, then! It was probably very uncool, and very un-pirate of me to be excited about such a revelation, but there wasn’t much I got excited about anymore. Especially not in regards to myself. Wow. That was depressing.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to be left with my own thoughts for much longer, as Rick was awake, and had finally made his way into the garage. I was happier to see him than he was me.

“God, you’re still here, Piper? I-I figured you would’ve just left it on the desk, and left already. Don’t you have anything better to do?” I pushed my search for a box to the back burner for the time being. 

“Good morning to you too. I did have something better to do. I cleaned out my ship, you ass.” He rolled his eyes, took a sip from his flask, and peeked inside the box of barely contained slippery anger inside. Rick whistled, and looked back to me rather pleased.

“These look pretty good, Piper. What do I owe you?” It wasn’t much of a compliment, but it made me feel good. My usual bristly attitude with him quickly fizzled away, as my standards for kindness were astronomically low this year. 

“Ha, I’ll consider this one a freebie. It like, wasn’t even a big deal.” I leaned on the counter with my arms crossed in an attempt to look cool, and casual. Pirate-y, even. I embarrassed myself. Running that errand totally was a big deal, and those damn slimy bastards almost chewed through my ship several times. The only reason I could ever even dream of justifying this as a freebie was because I was so fucking happy to have them be someone else’s problem. He raised the right side of his brow.

“No, no, really, please, at least lemme give you-” I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

“Nah, on me.”

“Well, if you insist.” His demeanor quickly changed, and he turned away from me, back to pretending that I didn’t even exist. I sat in awkward silence for a few moments before clearing my throat. Rick still didn’t look up. I sat for another minute. To answer his question earlier, I did not, in fact, have anything better to do. I figured that by now, I would be back to my usual gigs in deep space; light years away from this garbage fire of a person. Instead I now spent every day haunting his garage like a ghost. Nobody wanted me here, clearly. Except for when _somebody_ needed shit like stupid, weird space eels at 10 in the morning. As much as I’m sure it would’ve pleased him for me to go fuck off into the sun or something, I decided to continue looking around for that shoebox I needed. I knelt at the shelf opposite him in the garage, and perused the various boxes. It took less than a second of me going through his stuff for him to suction cup to my back like a leech. ' _Oh so_ **_now_ ** _you pay attention to me? '_

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He took a swig from his flask, and fixed his steely glare on me. I didn’t even look back at him, though I could definitely feel his eyes burning holes into me. Any moment now, and he would start shooting lasers.

“I’m looking for a box, what do you care?” I reached to continue shuffling through one of his boxes of junk on the shelf, but he yanked me back by the collar of my jacket. I spun on my heels, still crouched down at the lower shelf level to glower at him. 

“I’m not a fucking animal. Do not yank me like that. I will kill you.” Rick rolled his eyes, and made a hand gesture as if he was tired of hearing me say that. I was sure tired of saying it. 

“Don’t, don’t go through my shit without asking, Piper, and- and maybe I wouldn’t have to treat you like an animal.” He sneered. I stood up, and before I could panic over the distance between my body and his, I snatched the flask from his hand and drank quickly. He literally drove me to drink. A wave of shivers ran up my body as the disgusting, green liquid slid down. I fucking hated absinthe, but hanging out with Rick so often allowed me to aquire the taste, and power through my own disgust. Since I was nowhere near the dangerous levels of narcissistic alcoholism that he was, that swig gave me a nice enough buzz that would last at least until I finished getting my ship together, and left. He tucked it back in his jacket, not saying a word and staring me down. From that first day I met him, and nearly every day since, there were always moments when he would look at me like this. I still couldn’t tell exactly what the emotion he was trying to convey was but-

The thought was interrupted as he let out a gnarly burp into my face, and walked away. Ah. I hated him. 

“You can take one of the boxes in here,” On his way back to the counter, he tapped his foot against a miscellaneous cabinet. “I-I don’t give a fuck about whatever is in there, so, so don’t worry about it, Piper.” The sentiment of his last statement wasn’t lost on me, it was nice that he would let me have anything. As I came to the cabinet to pick out a nice box, sifting through various gadgets and gizmos and placing them somewhere else, I was acutely aware of his eyes glancing at me from over his shoulder every now and again. Why was he looking at me like that? I could only see his eyes, and his habitually furrowed brow, so in my perspective he just looked pissed off as usual. Maybe he was finally deciding that he had enough with my attitude, and my invasiveness. He was going to turn around, and tell me that he never wanted to see me again. That I should fuck right off to whatever backwoods galaxy I came from. Maybe he’d even ship me off to another dimension. I’d seen him do it before. I did not for a second doubt that he would do it again.

“Are you gonna tell me to fuck off already, or are you just gonna keep giving me dirty looks like that?” He looked taken aback by my comment, and slightly embarrassed that he’d been caught staring, but quickly recovered. 

“I-I wasn’t giving you a dirty look, I was just, just wondering how long it takes to grab a fucking box, Piper, Jesus.” I rolled my eyes, standing to face him with a newly emptied box on my hip. The only reason it'd taken me so long in the first place was because of all the shit he had in it. I honestly wondered how much of this junk he actually used. Maybe _he_ needed a spring cleaning, too.

“I got what I need, if you need me I'll be down the road sorting my shit.” I hurried out of the garage only to be stopped by Rick calling after me halfway down the driveway. When I turned back, he was just standing at the garage door, giving me _that_ look. I shrugged my shoulders, and made a hand gesture that read as: “how may I fuckin’ help you?”

“I might need your help later. W-With the eels. Don't go too far.” He didn’t leave time to respond or react to the last statement, and immediately retreated back into the garage. Of course he needed me. His moronic grandson that I’d only seen a handful of times was obviously not intelligent enough to actually assist in most of his experiments. I wasn’t even sure why he insisted on having the kid around, he was fucking useless. It didn’t matter though, he needed _me_ , he said it himself. It wasn’t often that he stroked my ego like this, but on the occasions he did, I was over the moon. The confidence high would boost me through the entire week. I made my way to my ship, a new spring in my step, as a sudden commotion erupted at the house. A quick glance over my shoulder would confirm that Rick’s whole family was now in the driveway around his kid’s car, shoving in various boxes and luggage. Huh. What if he didn’t actually need me specifically? What if his only other option was just busy today? Quiet paranoia began grasping at the frayed edges of my brain. Leathery arms pulled me into a tight embrace, as I stared out my ship’s windshield. I hoped it wasn’t the case. I hoped he needed me, _actually needed me_. I was in so deep at this point that I had to admit I had some weird, fucked up infatuation with Rick. I rationalized it as a lack of human contact, and a desperate bid for attention. 

He was difficult though; the more desperate I became, the less attention I got. I always had to play it cool. Ignore him when he pressed himself against my back. Ignore how close his lips were this morning. Ignore the constant memory of his arms around my waist, his breath on my neck. So so so difficult. I didn’t make for much of an actor, and I swear that no matter how hard I tried not to react, I couldn’t hide the sound of my heart thundering in my chest when he was around. God, the thought made me sick. I needed a distraction. I opened the empty box still in my lap, and moved onto the floor where all my sentimental garbage was, carefully sorting it into the box. This was good. A fresh start for my ship, for me. I still wondered if there was any way I could find my previous ship, or what was left of it. I naively imagined a lone pile of metal and trash, floating through space, entirely undisturbed. I knew the chances of that were incredibly slim. As I hid the box away in my still broken dashboard container, my terminal lit up.

“Captain Piper, you have a new message.” I squinted my eyes at the number she was displaying with the notification. I didn’t recognize it even remotely.

“Hope, please open it.”

“Yes, Captain.” 

**6038750162** : _Come back to the garage. We have new plans_

I blinked for a moment. How did he get my number? Also, I was literally two minutes away, why couldn’t he have just walked over here? Ugh, why was he so difficult?

“Hope, reply to this message.”

“Yes, Captain.” I pulled the keyboard out from under the computer and typed a response. He responded almost immediately.

 **PM** : _Can you tell me what these new plans are?_

 **6038750162** : _Party. Just get over here_

He wasn’t lying, there was going to be a party, and it began with Rick and I drinking the day away in his garage.


	5. Party Hard

I inhaled deeply, hands shaking nervously as bass boosted music vibrated the walls behind me. I didn’t know how I ended up at this high school rager on Earth- Well. Actually, I did know, but I wasn’t a very big fan of it. I didn’t know how to behave around so many people at once. Just a bunch of kids running around, letting loose, touching me, looking at me. That's why I was out here now. Despite this, I did have to say I was most definitely a big fan of the free booze, and tossing back drink after drink with Rick for the better part of the day. I exhaled, and brought the cigarette I was holding to rest lazily on my hip. I just needed a moment to myself before returning to the cesspit of sweaty, slimy masses that was currently the Sanchez home. I gazed up at the night sky, and started coughing my absolute brains out. Oh, how embarrassing. I couldn't even handle a measly drag?

' _Be careful, Piper. '_

When I was younger, friends always chided me for my “weak lungs”, only to shrug and offer condolences such as “yeah, it happens”. There wasn't much to do back home besides spending our weekends smoking, and drinking in some long abandoned piece of the settlement. Weak lungs though? I was the only one that actually ended up addicted to nicotine, anyways. My lungs were tough as fuck. My eyes drifted across the stars. Almost all of them were visible tonight. The wet grass slowly seeped in through the holes in my worn out boots, and even though I had my jacket on, I could still feel the fresh, nighttime air breeze through my top. The hair on my arms stood up straight, and I shivered. 

I shook myself from the moment, and cleared my throat. I decided I should probably keep heading back inside so I could warm up a little, instead of getting stuck marveling incredulously at a mediocre suburban backyard like I’d just been. I just missed space sometimes. It’s not like I wasn’t going out there all the time, per my current arrangement. I just- I couldn’t put the homesick feeling into words. I turned towards the sliding glass doors, and threw myself into the wriggling mass of bodies engulfing the living room. I had to push, and slide through dozens of teenagers, and what looked like a ton of faces that I was more familiar with just to get through the house. I was pretty sure some of these people had actually hired me in the past. I think, at least. Small universe, I guess. In my endeavors, filled with polite “excuse me’s” and “hey, how’s it going?”, I managed to glance at the pictures adorning the wall. Sometimes, I forgot that Rick actually had a family. Besides Morty, I never really saw his granddaughter, daughter, or son-in-law. I never really saw the inside of the house either, now that I thought about it. A lot of my life felt separated from whatever Rick had going on outside of the work I did for him. I wanted to feel like I was close to him, but was I really? There wasn't really any relationship between us outside of employer-employee. But why should I care about that stuff? I didn’t care. I mean, I shouldn’t care, at least. Fuck. I fully recognized that while I frequently had mental back and forths like this, that this specific and rather emotional one was triggered by my newly apparent drunken state. I mean, I’d been drunk all day. Shit, I couldn’t even remember how many times Rick had to refill the flask while he flitted back and forth to invite more of his "partners in crime" to the party. Absinthe sucked. My brain was starting to feel muddled, and foggy. This was probably also why, as I twisted and maneuvered through the crowd, I somehow managed to slam my back into another person coming out of the kitchen. I whipped around, almost losing my balance in the process.

“Fuck, oh my god, I’m sorry, fuck.”

Rick looked me up and down, judging my inebriated state. Knowing him, and judging by the appearance of his eyes, he was decently fucked up as well. That was a first. He shrugged and burped, mumbling out something along the lines of a “whatever”, and continuing on his way. As he slid past me, looking at me with an expression of disdain, my breath caught in my throat. My heart was threatening to burst. All of the substance abuse was throwing my emotions in 75 different directions. My perception of every point of contact he had just made was heightened, and they _tingled_. Fuck, I shouldn't have gone for a smoke. The room was starting to spin. I tried so desperately to keep my rule of not touching Rick. Not to kick his ass when I really felt like I wanted to, not to give him the shit he would ask me for, not even an accidental brush of the hand. That didn’t stop him from touching me in innocuous ways constantly, but I still thought it was a solution. I thought if I didn’t let it happen ever again, then my infatuation would just fade away. That’s how it was supposed to work. Why wasn’t it working? I shook my head vigorously for a moment to banish the whirlwind of feelings threatening to take over, almost certainly drawing back not only Rick’s attention, but also of people surrounding me. Nope. Still there.

I hated to admit it, at the risk of sounding uncool, but I wasn’t used to drinking, and I was even less used to smoking. It'd been how many years since I touched the stuff? I imagined prolonged cryosleep purged every harmful product from my body as well. Every second longer I spent standing in the doorway like an idiot felt like a rocket ride to hell. I definitely had gone a little overboard on this whole party deal, my first mistake probably being chugging alcohol with Rick at 11 in the morning. Actually, probably the last month I’d spent on Earth in general was my first mistake. I just needed to keep moving. And keep moving I did, towards the extremely familiar door situated at the back of the kitchen. The door to the garage had a little sticky note on it that read “knock first”. I was sure it didn’t apply to me, and headed in anyways. I basically co-owned that garage with Rick. The lights in the garage were off, which I didn’t think I’d ever seen before. The dramatic shift in environment felt like stepping into another dimension; the stimulus proving to be good for my disoriented brain. I closed the door behind me. I decided it would be nice to just chill in here for a bit while I settled down a little. Alone. No weirdo teens or aliens in sight. I twirled around the room, feeling wholly liberated with no one around to watch or judge me currently. Sometimes I missed just being alone. That was a lie. I _always_ missed being alone. My graceful stint ended abruptly, as I managed to stupidly twirl through the entire garage and accidentally collide with Rick’s workstation on the other side. 

' _You should lie down, Piper_.' Oh god, was I nauseous? I can’t throw up. I hate vomit. I shouldn’t have done this. I hoisted myself onto the counter.

Another wave of stimulus jazzed my brain up as the cool surface of the desk soaked into my back. All of Rick’s gadgets were lit up and dazzling the metallic ceiling with gorgeous colors, immediately entrancing me with their spell. Every single one sparkled like its own galaxy and pulled me deeper into my own thoughts. I wondered how much longer I could keep up the charade. Being around people, as a general statement and not naming anyone specifically, was wearing me down. Panic attacks were more regular. Every moment of every day felt like I was “stepping out of my comfort zone”. I was happy at first to just have human contact, and to be establishing relationships again after so long, but the constant mental gymnastics that came with actually communicating with people was eroding my mental state. Lately, I’d caught myself fantasizing about my old life. Not being at Rick’s beck and call. Being in a star system hours away from Earth. Basing all my confidence on how “cool” and “pirate-y” I was being, as opposed to basing it on how a conversation was going. As I was lost in contemplation about my own enduring consciousness, the door to the garage swept open. The light streaming from the kitchen was so blindingly bright to me, I felt a momentary sobriety fill me yet again. I thrust my hand up in a vain attempt to protect my ill adjusted eyes. I could just vaguely make out Rick’s form standing in the doorway.

“Who, who the fuck said y-you could come in here?” he slurred out, his sentence littered with burps. I’d never seen Rick so drunk, not even the night we crashed into each other. Honestly, I was surprised he was even capable of still getting this drunk given how much he drank on a regular basis. I slowly shifted off the desk and touched my feet to the ground carefully. I became self conscious of how hard I gripped onto the side of the desk. I thought that if I kept myself as still and stable as possible, then the room would stop spinning. I needed to regain my cool, and quickly. This was just embarrassing. 

“I uh, I'm sorry, I let myself in. I can go if you want, it's totally not an issue. Sorry for inviting myself in.” I attempted to sound more down to earth than I was as I wasn't even sure I would be capable of walking out without making it apparently clear I was not in a good state. He shook his head and stepped in, closing the door behind him. I thought he looked tired. " _Tired of what, Piper?_ " Drinking, partying? Now that didn’t sound like Rick. He glanced around the room, making a mental note of every single strange gadget whirring softly and illuminating certain corners of the room. I was stressed. I knew that the nicotine was fucking me up, but maybe I just needed more. Just one more cigarette. That's what helped when I was stressed. It'd help now. I fumbled in my pockets for a lighter. He stood in front of me now, and sighed. Oh god dammit, the jig was up. He knew I was fucked. He was looking at me again with that weird expression. Was he mad? Disappointed, even? Fuck me. I shakily pulled the lighter and cigarettes from my pocket, and pulled one out. 

“Whoa whoa whoa, Piper, wh-when the fuck did I ever, ever say you could smoke in here?” 

This was a good point. I moved to toss the cigarette back into the tin, but he stopped me with his hand. God dammit. The touching. He motioned for me to scoot over on the desk so that he could lean against it with me, and relit the cigarette himself. Where the fuck did he get that lighter from? Eh, not really important. I took a deep drag, hoping this would be the ticket to a more stable Piper. He held his hand up towards me as if waiting for me to pass it on. In the process of handing it over, and making sure he couldn’t notice the tremor in my hand, I exhaled directly towards his face. He glared at me. Wow, okay, tonight was seriously just not my night.

“Piper, do you fu-eurp-cking, do you fucking mind not d-doing- not doing that, Piper?” he finally managed to belch out. I recoiled. I didn’t mean to do it, he was just there, and my face was facing his and, and, and- 

“I'm sorry, Rick.” He rolled his eyes at me, and moved to bring the cigarette to his lips. 

“Jeez, Piper, what, what's with all the apologizing?" I shrugged. I felt like I was bothering him like everything he could possibly be mad at was my fault. I wasn't going to say this, obviously.

"I l-learned that, that when you do that, it either, either means th-that, you wanna fight or eurgh-fuck.” Wait, do what? Apologizing? No. He meant the smoke blowing incident. I was completely taken aback by the implication. I looked him over as he inhaled. If I had to choose, well, hadn’t I already? We'd already thrown down, there wasn’t really a choice to be made there. Did I even want to consider the other option? I felt cold air hit my face and looked up, a billow of smoke clouding my vision momentarily. My heart stopped. Didn’t he just say what that meant? Didn’t he just imply that _I_ wanted to fight, or fuck? Was this… flirting? My brain was going off the rails with whistles, and flashing lights, and I still couldn’t feel my heart. I think I even forgot to breathe. I considered my options for a moment, and concluded that I was drunk. If there ever was a perfect opportunity to do whatever the fuck I thought I wanted to do, it was now. At least I had an excuse to back me up in the morning. I wanted him. I leaned in slightly, closing the distance between us and licked my lips. He looked at me, looking down at my mouth, then back to my eyes. What started out as a chuckle soon turned into hearty laughter. I leaned back and crinkled my face in hurt. Was he laughing at me? Seriously? 

“L-Listen Piper, don't ruin this,” he let out a loud burp, taking another drag from my cigarette. “I was just making a joke, do you, do you know what a fucking joke is?” he chuckled again. I pushed myself from the desk and stood in front of him. This is why I didn’t let myself feel this way about people. Rejection. He was laughing at me like I was a fucking joke. God, how could I have been so stupid? What did he mean by “don’t ruin this”? Ruin what? What kind of relationship did we have that even needed ruining? Why did he always have to be so mean? No, no, I shouldn’t be letting my emotions get the best of me right now. I shouldn’t.

“Can’t you ever just be nice to me for once? Why can't we just be nice to each other? For once, Rick?” Well, now I definitely ruined it. He stared me down for a moment, seemingly racking his brain for a response. I had definitely insured that our relationship would be nothing beyond employer-employee. He opened his mouth to speak, before closing it again in contemplation. Why couldn't he just say something? Then, he rolled his eyes, blowing the smoke in my face yet again. 

“Jeez, Piper, r-relax a little. W-We’re just, just having fun, it’s a euurghh party, go, go fucking live a little.” He handed my cigarette to me and stood up, now just inches away from me. The smell of liquor was overwhelming and it just fueled my desire even more. He tipped his face down towards me, close enough that his warm breath pooled across my lips. “I'm gonna, gonna g-go to the real party.” 

He belched again, maneuvering around me yet remaining close the entire time, before striding away to the door of the garage. 

“I’ll, I’ll talk to you to-tomorrow.” He closed the door, leaving me alone in the dark again to mentally kick myself. I leaned with both hands against the desk. I should just forget about it. Maybe go “fucking live a little.” Oh god. Wait. Nope. Still nauseous. Oh no. I started gagging, and barely made it to the trash can before unleashing an ungodly waterfall of stomach contents into it. Nope. No living a little tonight. I needed to go lay down. I started making my way towards the tarp that now served as the garage door, hoping I could find my way back to my ship like this. Hope would take care of me. At least I wouldn't have to be stuck in the Sanchez home tonight. As I was heading out, I noticed the closet to my left rocking slightly, a sound much like a cat hacking up a hairball coming from it. That's none of my business. I just needed rest.


	6. Perspective

I awoke the next day feeling- Well, honestly, feeling way better than I’d expected. I twisted around in my seat, moving the blanket off of me and testing my arms, then legs, then neck. Everything felt fine, except for being a bit stiff. I stood, and started to shake the wooden casing from my limbs. I glanced over briefly at Hope before bending to touch my toes, and stretch out my back. Wait. My spine snapped up, and stood at attention. Hope was online. Did I turn Hope on when I came back last night? I didn’t remember doing that. ‘ _ Oh no. _ ’ I didn’t even remember getting back to the ship last night. ‘ _ Oh no, no, no, no. _ ’ My heart was suddenly pounding in my ears. HOW THE FUCK DID I BLACKOUT??? Wait, fuck, that’s a rhetorical question. I quickly scanned the screen. A completed search flashed silently in front of me, showcasing a planet that would take approximately four days to fly to in an entirely different galaxy. No, there was no way that’s what happened, I did not do that.

“Hope…”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Please show me the search history from last night.” Please, don’t tell me I was running away. Do not say I was doing something as embarrassingly childish as running away just because- Oh god. I tried to kiss Rick. I smacked my face into my hands, dragging downwards in a vain attempt to maybe rip my face off, and be spared from the mortifying ordeal of being drunk Piper. How much worse was this going to get? This is why I didn’t drink. Drinking makes you emotional, illogical, and so very, very fucking stupid-

“There were no search queries made in the last 24 hours, Captain.”

“What? But- Then how did-” That didn’t make sense. I couldn’t have been asleep for longer than 24 hours. That wasn’t possible. How did this happen? I smacked my palm to my forehead. How did I always end up in situations like this? I vowed to never drink again. If not for the stupid shit I did last night, then for the stupid shit drunk me was putting myself through now.

“Okay, then show me the search history from the last 48 hours.” 

“There were no search queries made-”

“HOW THE FUCK IS THAT POSSIBLE???” I pinched the bridge of my nose, and rubbed furiously. I didn’t mean to yell at her like that. This was just absolutely goddamn absurd. If I intended on figuring it out, however, I needed to calm myself first. I couldn’t be screaming at an inanimate object, especially considering the guilty feeling that arose for doing it in the first place. Anxiously pacing about the cabin, I racked my brain for a potential answer. There wasn’t any vomit on the floor, but I did remember puking last night. Any attempt at recollection was foggy at best, so I couldn’t recall exactly where, but at least I remembered doing it. Was it possible to have gone comatose? No, not from the amount I drank. While I suspected I at least had alcohol poisoning, hence the throwing up, and the blackout, I absolutely did not drink enough to put me in a coma. Surely, if I had, I would have messages from Rick. Right? If I went missing for a week, he would’ve looked for me? 

‘ _ No, bad Piper. Bad. That was stupid, and you should feel bad for even thinking that. _ ’ Okay, I’m right. That felt bad. I turned back to Hope. There had to be some trace of history of me requesting that search. I just needed to figure out  _ when _ . 

“Hope, please show me the last recorded search query.” 

“Yes, Captain.” Instinctively, I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, gnawing on it like a wild animal. The voice recording that began to play was difficult to sit through. 

“ _ H-Hope, I need, I need you to find a planet. Somewhere far, and with no people, that I can just live on alone, forever. _ ” At first, all I could hear after my initial choked up request was quiet sniffling. Was I crying? Aw man, I hated crying, specifically when I was the one doing it.

“ _ Why don’t people like me? Why don’t I have any friends? Why do I make everything harder for myself? What’s  _ **_wrong_ ** _ with me? _ ” Drunk Piper broke off this line of questioning with some bold sobbing before the recording stopped. My heart broke. How many years had I spent asking myself this? I thought back to when I was younger, reminiscing on the times I spent coddling myself at three in the morning on the verge of a depressive spiral. If 15 year old me knew that in 81 years I would be asking myself the same stupid questions, would she have done something different with her life? I didn’t want to dwell on it. I slowly wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hug the drunk Piper that was still in there, the Piper that was insecure, and hated herself, and just needed somebody to like her  _ desperately _ .

“Hope? How long ago was this query recorded?” My voice was quiet, and disheartened. Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to that at all. It just made me sad.

“Captain Piper, this query was logged approximately six months before today’s date.” The sadness dispersed, and was immediately replaced with exasperated disbelief.

“WHAT???” Hope repeated herself, apparently taking my confused shout as a sign that I didn’t understand, or hear her. She was half right. I shut down the terminal, and began to search outside the windshield for signs of life. How could I have been asleep for SIX MONTHS? What about everyone else on Earth? I didn’t have any messages, and I had clearly been left undisturbed for the entire time. Was anyone even alive? These impulsive anxiety driven thoughts were shut down as I witnessed a car drive past, as well as a man walking his dog. Okay. So the world didn’t end, but how the fuck did this happen? Ah, did I have any other choice? I tried to think, but it seemed like there wasn’t one. I had to find Rick. He was the only person who would have the answers I needed. I looked off towards the Sanchez home, and took note of the car out front. Everyone was home, everything was okay, it was fine. I exited the ship, and began walking briskly towards the house. My pace slowed as the realization dawned on me that maybe he didn’t have answers. What if I really had just been comatose for six months? Everyone else was going about their business as usual. If that was truly the case, how would I have even survived without any form of sustenance, and no one to take care of me? Did I spend the last six months rotting away in my ship with absolutely no one to care if I was dead or alive? No, that wasn’t possible. If left alone in those conditions for that period of time, I surely would be suffering from muscle atrophy.

As I came up the driveway, I peeked into the garage to find nobody inside. Fuck. I really hoped he would just be out here, fiddling with whatever it was he fiddled with. I weighed my options. I could spend an agonizing amount of time waiting in the garage, growing increasingly more panicked by the minute as I assumed I was left for dead for six months, waiting for Rick, or… I could knock on his front door, and risk one of his family members actually seeing me, or interacting with me in any form. Motherfucker, neither one sounded good. I supposed the easiest, and quickest way to getting answers was my best option though. Swallowing the preemptive social anxiety rising in my chest, I jogged to the front door, and knocked. Murmurs escaped from the gaps in the door, and a shuffling of feet could be heard. My heart jumped to my throat as the door knob jingled, and turned. A young girl with strawberry blonde hair pulled back into a tight ponytail stood in front of me, one hand placed on her hip, and the other still on the door. Her neck was adorned with a strange, metallic dog collar. If I wasn’t mistaken, this was Rick’s granddaughter. She gave me a once over, already seeming bored of this interaction. I couldn’t imagine how you could have just opened the door to an utter stranger at your doorstep, and already seem bored. Annoyed, sure, but not bored.

“Yeah?” Okay, now she sounded annoyed. Probably due to the weird silence hanging over us while I struggled to pinpoint exactly what her  _ deal _ was.

“Yes, hi, uh. I was wondering if Rick is around?” Keep it short, to the point. She gave a half nod, before shouting over her shoulder into the house.

“Grandpa, there’s some lady here looking for you!” Rick’s granddaughter disappeared, her job done. I could hear more shuffling from inside, along with some groaning, and muffled bickering. My finger reached up, and coiled around one of the locks of hair free from my ponytail. During what seemed like the longest minute of my life, the heel of my boot hyper fixated on a newfound depression in the concrete. It felt like it fit perfectly, as if I’d stood here a million times before, waiting for him. The familiarity comforted me. Angry mumbles were replaced with silence, and I heard nothing more from the house. The apparition of Rick appeared in the doorway. My heart jumped to my throat. It might’ve been six months since I’d seen him technically, but I was still undeniably head over heels, knee deep in infatuation. Good feelings didn’t last forever though, and the anxious shame I still felt for trying to kiss him began bubbling up again. I had to apologize for it. I did that only under the pretense I would be able to use the excuse the next morning, right? What if he didn’t remember though? It’d been long enough. Would I risk bringing it up if it was only going to remind him of my shameful deed? I looked at him expectantly. Shockingly, his features were painted with an appearance of concern, and relief. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him make this face before. His neck wore the same collar that I’d noticed on his granddaughter earlier.

“Jesus Christ, Piper, you’re finally awake. I-I knew you drank a lot, but I didn’t expect you to sleep all day, Piper.” Huh. So I did sleep for longer than I’d intended. 

“I uh…” My voice cracked as the apology formulated in my throat. Did I really want to do this? Yes. I had to get this off my chest. I would obviously die from spontaneous combustion otherwise. “I’m sorry. About what happened at the party. It was really, really stupid of me, I was just so drunk, I don’t know what happened. And I’m sorry.” I held my breath, and waited for him to laugh at me again. Just like he did before. Right in my face. 

“I… I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about, Piper. S-Seriously.” His brow was furrowed in deep thought, like he was desperately trying to remember, but couldn’t. “I-I must have gotten so riggity riggity wrecked last night!” Rick tried to laugh, to make it sound at least a little believable, but he couldn’t fool me. I still couldn’t explain the time gap in question.

“Rick, I know it’s been longer than that. I have a recorded search query from the party dated six months ago.” His face fell momentarily as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. So he  _ did _ have answers.

“I don’t know- I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Why did he have to put up a fight against something that could be answered so simply?

“Hope doesn’t lie. It’s a computer. Where the fuck did six months go?” 

“Listen,” He glanced behind himself, then gingerly closed the front door. He was leaning in now, and speaking in a hushed voice. Why wasn’t I freaking out like usual? Now I just savored the scent of absinthe clouding around me. God, I was sick. “You keep this talk, this talking about time shit away from my family. Just, let’s go over to the ship, Piper.” Rick slipped his arm around my waist as we started walking hurriedly back to my ship. I felt like I was dreaming. This didn’t feel like the Rick Sanchez I’d known. This Rick was touchy, too open, not enough of a dick to me.  _ Yet. _

“Can we please talk about the time shit now?” He sighed.

“I froze time for an indeterminate amount of time, the morning after- after the party. Got a lot of shit done. A lot, a lot I wanna show you, Piper.” He looked down at me smugly, hands placed on his hips. Was I supposed to be impressed?

“By indeterminate, do you mean six months?” Rick rolled his eyes at me.

“Why does that matter? I fucking froze time, Piper. I pulled some shit straight out of your shitty sci-fi novels, and you’re worried about how long it was frozen for?” Heat flushed my face. No, he couldn’t have read my Captain Nikola books. Nobody read those books. Those were secret!

“What shitty sci-fi books?”

“Oh come on, Piper, they’re literally sitting in your console for anyone with goddamn eyes to see.” He was teasing me now. Now it felt like the Rick I knew. But I was getting off track.

“Rick, you can’t just freeze time for six fucking months! Did you even know how that was gonna affect other people? Nobody even popped into my ship to make sure I was fucking alive.” His unibrow furrowed again, this time in frustration. He was upset that I didn’t think his stupid stunt was  _ so super cool _ , and even more upset that I was nagging him about it. 

“You think I would’ve just fucking used it if I thought it would kill people, Piper? I’m not a psychopath, for Christ’s sake. I knew you were gonna be fine, or else I wouldn’t have fucking done it.” He turned away from me, and began fuming back to the garage. “When you’re done being a bitch, come see me in the garage, Piper.” I bit my bottom lip so hard I thought it might bleed. I always fucked up with him, I always ruined it by being… Well,  _ me _ . Anxious. Critical. An asshole. I took a moment to shame myself for my stupid ways. Rick peeked out from the garage to shout at me again.

“AND DON’T FORGET MY BLANKET. I NEED THAT BACK.”


End file.
